My Nappily Ever After
First off, if you haven’t seen Sanaa Lathan's star role in Netflix’s “Nappliy Ever After” go watch it....NOW!!!! During last Sunday’s Self Care Day, husbae and I sat on the couch and watched this movie. The message of it was beautiful. Sanaa Lathan’s character, Violet, developed into her own woman throughout the film exuding strength, love, and self worth. The transitions and stages of her life were beautifully depicted by the different styles that she wore her hair. From perm, to weave, to blonde, to natural, each stage had a purpose. So…yea….go watch it! lol
I myself have recently had an “epiphany” about my natural hair and natural beauty in general. As a young girl, I never wore my natural hair in it’s natural state, and by never…I mean NEVER. I probably got my first relaxer when I was around 10 years old and from that moment on, I was addicted to the creamy crack every 6-8 weeks up until college. It wasn’t until the spring semester of my junior year when I stopped getting chemical treatments in my hair. But a few short months after that I went back. My last dose of creamy crack was administered in May of 2013, when I got my edges permed to blend in with my graduation weave.
After graduation, I moved to Greensboro, NC all on my own. It was a fresh start for me and a fresh start for my hair. Now, don’t get me wrong, I kept my weaves lol but I didn’t get any more perms. The heat damage was still awful though! Around this time, I was transitioning. I didn’t quite know what I was doing, but I was doing it….and constantly bugging my natural line sisters 24/7. My hair started to break off at the line of demarcation and I couldn’t maintain a style. The different textures on my head just didn’t blend well and I was tired of getting braids and trying new stylists every other month.
(A bantu twist NOT! I remember this was the first time that I took scissors to my head and began cutting off straggly ends. I couldn't take it anymore)
(#whatleaveout hahaha THAT leave out!!)
One day I just said, “Fuck it!”.
I went to Keisha ( you know you can always find a Black cosmetologist named Keisha lol) and told her that I wanted to do the big chop! Back in 2014, I didn’t know about shrinkage so I really had to find my confidence when wearing my TWA (teeny weeny afro). My hair was growing very slow, and I was becoming impatient with my results. Where was my flourishing afro?
When I moved back to Baltimore in 2015, I didn’t feel too confident wearing my natural hair in public. So what did I do?
Went back to wearing weaves…and wigs. So much that I even started my own hair extension company. I knew that I wanted to embrace being a “Naturalista”, I just didn’t know how. Over the next two years, in between wigs and weaves I would let my natural hair breathe for two weeks at a time. Anything over that would only happen if I couldn’t make an appointment with my stylist.
However, life started to change. I got engaged and moved in with my fiance. As you can imagine, living with someone exposes THE REAL YOU. He saw me with my cornrows, smelled my morning breath, and loved me all the same lol. But it was something about my natural hair that he was obsessed with. Whenever I would have it out during those "breathing weeks", he would request that I kept it out longer. “You're so beautiful. It’s just something about your natural hair that I love”, he would say. Next thing you know, two weeks turned into three, and three turned into a month. I thought to myself, “I could get used to this”. Plus his head massages are the best!
I’m extremely grateful for him loving my natural beauty and am super appreciative of my natural friends who have supported me during this journey. During the summer of 2018, I started wearing more protective styles and less wigs. Now, I’m not wig bashing…I do still own Regal Lady Hair lol, but I am embracing natural styles more, and I’m not afraid to admit that. I love wearing my natural afro. I love learning new styles, and I love trying new products! Learning to love the real me underneath it all has been life changing.
When I started my blog, my motto was to encourage women to be “classy, confident, & compelling”. But how I could inspire other women to be confident if I was lacking that myself. Now that I do have this confidence in myself and in my natural hair, I’m able to live freely without worrying about being “picture perfect” for the gram. Every piece of hair doesn’t have to be in place, every strand doesn’t have to be the same length, and every curl doesn’t have to match.
Regal Ladies, whether you wear a weave or an afro, know that there is beauty in being you.
Being authentically me, has truly shown me that there is freedom in being our true selves and I 100% encourage you to dig deep inside and set the real you free!
Until next time,
Nappily Ever After