• Tasha Butler

How The Four Agreements Changed My Life

Have you ever came across a book that completely changed your life?

Well, that's what happened for me once I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz about a year ago. I was familiar with the book for several years but never had the chance to read it. Either it wasn't on my book list at the time or it was always checked out when I actually wanted to read it. *Yes I am a proud library cardholder lol*

When I finally was able to read The Four Agreements, let me tell you….

Sis, it came at the right time!

As I’ve previously mentioned, 2018 was a year of self-awareness and heavy reflection for me [Raw & UnCut Blog Post]. This book was definitely one of the influences that helped me make changes in my life for the better.

The Four Agreements really is my Bible and I always suggest it for any person who enjoys reading self-development books. [Pinterest Book Board] It's definitely a page-turner. I literally read the entire book within less than a week! It was a quick read, but the lessons will last a lifetime.

Find out what The Four Agreements are and how they changed my life.

First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word

This agreement is so simple yet so powerful at the same time. Don Miguel Ruiz says in the novel that “it is through the word that you manifest everything”. Boy oh boy is this true! There is so much power in our words. After reading this book I really had to take a step back and take a look at the language that I was using. Was I speaking from a place of love? Was I gossiping? What was I affirming over my life?

Saying things like “I'm dead” or “I’m broke” can really manifest into the physical form. I began to become aware of my words and this quote below made me become impeccable with my word.

“You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportional to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word you feel good, you feel happy, and at peace.

Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally

“Personal importance or taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, always me. Nothing other people do is because of you, it’s because of themselves. When we take something personally we make the assumption that they know what is in our world and we tried to impose our world on their world.

When I stopped taking things personally I found myself becoming less offended by other people. Rather than catch an attitude, I began to realize that whatever negative energy they were projecting towards me, in fact, had nothing to do with me and everything to do with how they saw or felt about themselves. It’s kind of like the old saying “I'm like rubber you're like glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” Once I understood this, I was able to communicate better and really get to the root of the issue or the conflict at hand. By not taking things personally and not "getting in my feelings" I was easily able to follow the next agreement.

Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

“When we make assumptions we create unnecessary drama.” By not taking things personally I stopped assuming that people knew what I was thinking or feeling. For example, I stopped seeing "shady behavior" as "shade" and could begin to make some light of it. I didn't assume that people knew their actions would hurt my feelings or make me feel some type of way. Because of this, I was able to genuinely ask questions, start the conversation, and respectfully address situations without judgment or negative expectations.

Take it from me, if you really want to be unbothered, don't take things personally and don't make assumptions.

“If you don't understand something, it is better for you to ask and be clear instead of making an assumption. The day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly free of emotional poison. Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.”

Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best

If I always do my best then I can never be upset at myself. If I always give 100% effort, I can never look back and say that I did not give my all. This made me level the f*** up! Go hard or go home.

If I'm going to do something I might as well do my very best. If I'm not going to give 100% why even half-ass it? That's pointless and a waste of time and energy.

Nowadays, if I'm working towards something, I have to come correct and I have to put my best foot forward.

“If you do your best always over and over again you will become a master of transformation. Practice makes the master. By doing your best you become a master. Everything you have ever learned you learn through repetition.