• Tasha Butler

Shawwty, what ya name is?

…. NO IT’S NOT SHAWWWTYY. My name is Tasha Renee Logan (yea, I just gave y'all my government name ….I must be tripping ). What's your name? Better yet what do you answer to?

This post was actually “inspired” by a guy that I recently met. You could call it spitting game, but I’d like to call it a waste of his time…..and definitely mine! However throughout the SMALL conversation that we had, this "gentle"man asked me for my name….*pause * now ladies we all know before we decide on giving him our name we have to evaluate the situation. Am I going to give you my name, my homegirls’ name or a fake name.

After 3 seconds of analyzing what was taking place, I decided to opt out of the name giving game and continued to eat my zesty garlic wings from the bar. Later on during this guessing game his friend starts singing "What's your real name and not your stripper name” Ummm excuuuuuse me (neck roll and all) I gave him that look (you know THAT look) and said "Oh you just tried it". “Tried what?” *continues to eat chicken wing* "Every girl has a stripper name its like her alter ego" *dips chicken wing in blue cheese* "It's like Beyoncé and Sasha Fierce" *pause (says to self...he really just tried it….AGAIN...come on Tash, keep it cute and keep it classy)*

Needless to say by me not answering and giving him my name I guess that hurt his “ego” because he ended up leaving the bar area, but this got me thinking….whats more important? Your name or what you answer to……

I remember when my boyfriend (now fiance’) used to be on the phone with his friends and would say “I’m chillen with shorty”. Bruhhhhh that used to piss me off. Now I’m not one to advocate domestic violence, but every time he said that I would karate chop him in his throat. Something about him calling me “shorty” was what I was not going to answer to. I am your girlfriend, your lady, your woman and I will be addressed or referred to as such.

But what do you do when its a stranger calling you out of your name? You know people are crazy now a days, you can’t just go up to people karate chopping them. So how do you respond?

My answer.

Don’t answer…. or give them the quick “dont call me that” response and keep it moving.

Just recently I was on a trip with some friends and as we were walking down the streets of NYC a guy yells out to my lighter pigmented friends “Ayye sister stop bleaching your skin”...TF! Iggggggnant right!! All I could do was grab my friends and say lets keep walking. Clearly, any man...especially any Black man that takes time out of his day to disrespect a Black woman, isn’t worthy of me even acknowledging their presence. Now we could always take the time out to educate people as to why they should’nt try to demean us women..but I personally don’t think its worth the hassle, stress, time, or energy of going back and forth with a fool.

And then just last week, I was at a popular DC lounge celebrating a friend’s birthday and some guy looks at my engagement ring and says “Oh you going home to get some d*ck”.....AGAIN why must thou tryest me!!!! So I kindly had to let him know, "Please do not talk to me like that, you don't know me nor do you know who I'm getting what from and on top of that its none of your business". He tried to play it off by saying it was a joke, and I informed that he need not quit his day job because that joke was trash. Maybe the thotties that he talks to finds stuff like that funny….but I am a Regal Lady….we’re classy...not trashy.

So ladies, I say this to say. You ARE what you answer to. Don’t feel obligated to respond to the bs. And yes...sometimes these names are hurtful whether you respond or not. I just want to encourage you all to have enough strength to know your self worth.

The only other thing you should answer to other than your name is being called, classy, confident, & compelling”

xoxo TheRegalLady